Non alcoholic beer is like watching porn blindfolded.

99% of all problems can be solved by Money. And for the other 1% there’s alcohol. (Quentin R. Bufogle)

My New Years resolution is to enjoy watching everyone fail at their New Year resolution… And drink a lot!

What do a pregnant woman, frozen beer and burned pizza have in common? An idiot WHO forgot to take it out in time.

If you can make it down to the pub, the pub will make it up to you. (Benny Bellamacina)

A small beer is better than a big thank you!

Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities may produce all the effect of drunkenness. (Oscar Wilde)

Drinking just to get drunk is like having sex just to get pregnant. (Robert Hess)

I will never, ever drink whiskey Again. From now on, it’s strictly sherry. (Libba Bray)

Beer doesn’t have a lot of vitamines – that’s why you need to drink a lot of it!

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of Jack Daniel’s. (Darynda Jones)

Give me a woman who loves beer, and I will conquer the World. (Kaiser Wilhelm)

Many people die of thirst, but the Irish are born with one. (Spike Milligan)

I’ll drink responsibly when there’s a beer called “Responsibly”!

Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough, you can neither drive nor shut the hell up!

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy! (Warren Ellis)

The best beer in the World is the open bottle in your hand!

Unlike beer, love doesn’t taste as good when it’s Cold.

Beer – drink all you want, they’ll make more!

Good people drink good beer. (Hunter S. Thompson)

The sacred pint alone can unbind the tongue. (James Joyce)

A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘ I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly’. (Winston S. Churchill)

Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol…

Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer. (W. C. Fields)

Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her. (W. C. Fields)

Never miss a party… Good for the nerves – like celery. (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

Religion is a non-alcoholic man’s alcohol. Alcohol is a non-religious man’s religion. (Mokokoma Mokhonoana)

BEER – it always tricks you into thinking that you’re a good dancer.

I don’t have a drinking problem ‘cept when I can’t get a drink. (Tom Waits)

Did you know that 6-8 beers per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit?

I Cook with wine, somtimes I even ad it to the food. (W. C. Fields)

On Victory, you derserve a beer. On defeat you need it. (Napoleon)

I’ve never been thrown out of a pub, but I’ve fallen into quite a few. (Benny Bellamacina)

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in Water there is bacteria… (Benjamin Franklin)

Wine is not a magic serum og truth. It just silences that smart Little voice in your head which advises against saying some dumb shit. (David A. Fearnhead)

Beer is the answer… But I can’t remember the question…

Write drunk… Edit sober! (Ernest Hemingway)

If I saved all the Money I spend on beer, I’d spend it on beer. (Earl Dibbles Jr.)

Wine – a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy. (Benjamin Franklin)

Too much of anything is bad, but too much champagne is just right. (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

Beer is not the answer. Beer is the question, and the answer is YES!

All the best pubs are build on a hill, so you can slope in and roll out. (Benny Bellamacina)

Glasses are for people that sip instead of drink. (Kari Starr)