My New Years resolution is to enjoy watching everyone fail at their New Year resolution… And drink a lot!

Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough, you can neither drive nor shut the hell up!

Drinking just to get drunk is like having sex just to get pregnant. (Robert Hess)

A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘ I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly’. (Winston S. Churchill)

Beer doesn’t have a lot of vitamines – that’s why you need to drink a lot of it!

Religion is a non-alcoholic man’s alcohol. Alcohol is a non-religious man’s religion. (Mokokoma Mokhonoana)

If you can make it down to the pub, the pub will make it up to you. (Benny Bellamacina)

I’ve never been thrown out of a pub, but I’ve fallen into quite a few. (Benny Bellamacina)

Give me a woman who loves beer, and I will conquer the World. (Kaiser Wilhelm)

All the best pubs are build on a hill, so you can slope in and roll out. (Benny Bellamacina)

Wine – a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy. (Benjamin Franklin)

Wine is not a magic serum og truth. It just silences that smart Little voice in your head which advises against saying some dumb shit. (David A. Fearnhead)

Did you know that 6-8 beers per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit?

Unlike beer, love doesn’t taste as good when it’s Cold.

Too much of anything is bad, but too much champagne is just right. (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

I Cook with wine, somtimes I even ad it to the food. (W. C. Fields)

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy! (Warren Ellis)

I will never, ever drink whiskey Again. From now on, it’s strictly sherry. (Libba Bray)

Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer. (W. C. Fields)

A small beer is better than a big thank you!

Never miss a party… Good for the nerves – like celery. (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

I’ll drink responsibly when there’s a beer called “Responsibly”!

If I saved all the Money I spend on beer, I’d spend it on beer. (Earl Dibbles Jr.)

Beer – drink all you want, they’ll make more!

Many people die of thirst, but the Irish are born with one. (Spike Milligan)

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in Water there is bacteria… (Benjamin Franklin)

I don’t have a drinking problem ‘cept when I can’t get a drink. (Tom Waits)

Beer is the answer… But I can’t remember the question…

The best beer in the World is the open bottle in your hand!

99% of all problems can be solved by Money. And for the other 1% there’s alcohol. (Quentin R. Bufogle)

Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities may produce all the effect of drunkenness. (Oscar Wilde)

What do a pregnant woman, frozen beer and burned pizza have in common? An idiot WHO forgot to take it out in time.

Non alcoholic beer is like watching porn blindfolded.

Glasses are for people that sip instead of drink. (Kari Starr)

Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her. (W. C. Fields)

The sacred pint alone can unbind the tongue. (James Joyce)

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of Jack Daniel’s. (Darynda Jones)

Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol…

Beer is not the answer. Beer is the question, and the answer is YES!

Write drunk… Edit sober! (Ernest Hemingway)

BEER – it always tricks you into thinking that you’re a good dancer.

On Victory, you derserve a beer. On defeat you need it. (Napoleon)

Good people drink good beer. (Hunter S. Thompson)